Unseen Pain

The worst is not the lash out at the flesh,

but the strike against the spirit.

I realized there are many ways to die,

I have felt the death of my soul.

Our Prayers and Condolences

It seems trivial to write about any ones own person war today, when all you have to do is listen to the news to hear the horror stories. There is two similarities in all of it we have a predator and a victim. People don't choose to become victims, it can simply be a of circumstances, being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

A warped sense of power is all it takes to destroy a life, how sad is that. For the victims and families of the Fort hood military base in Texas our prayers go out to those who have died and those who continue to struggle in the hospital. Young men and women just into adulthood, who signed on with the military to defend our country and yet it is those within who have taken them down.

The ugly truth of reality is that evil exist and thrives.

Caught in the web of dysfunction

I have always been bothered by those who place judgement on a victim who has endured long term abuse. The circumstances around each situation is unique to those who find them self in this predicament. One comment recently that still leaves sour a taste is that" the victim must thrive or love the drama. " This statement alone speaks of ignorance and how little those who have not experienced any form of an abuse understand.

Imagine for one moment you are the fly in the web, the hard you try to pull away the tighter the silk becomes until you can almost not breathe. What is silk web made of ? It is filled with an abundance of circumstances, fear, insecurity and a list of weaknesses that are yet to be revealed in each individual case. One of the main concerns I have is the erosion of confidence as well the lack of independence. The vulnerability which enables a person to be caught in the web may be triggered by ones empathy, forgiveness and in truth heart. Sometimes it as simple as our Christian upbring which teaches us to forgive. This in itself allows for repetition.

Is there away out? There is always away out. Sometimes we have to stop struggling, calm down and think our way out. The A plan reveals and alternate path, friends and family who are willing to help,other times it is not that easy, because we have to first work on our own insecurities and find the confidence to stand on our two feet. It is not always as easy as it sounds. The web is a tricky trap, because it is being spun way before you know your even trapped. This is the first step which I call circumstance it leads you in the direction of the web.

I myself have battled the web of dysfunction. Because there is no one way or right way to find that freedom, the road can be treacherous and long. There are many factors that come into play and each must be weighed out. What is right for the individual and the others involved in an extensive part of the release, timing, education, knowledge, confidence and alternatives. Just a few the factors that must be in place as we prepare to make a turn in the journey.

There are for sure very violent cases and these to must be thought out. Having a birth certificate ssn for yourself and your children are the first steps in breaking away. I was surprised for many this was a difficult endeavor as many are stripped of the initial paperwork. Which now days you can apply online. With that in mind there are organizations that are willing to help in bringing back to your life a sense of independence. The many women I have met fall into all age groups. Out here where I live the first thread of the web consist of isolation. Many have no access, to friends, family, transportation or the technology of phone. Hard to believe in this day age that so many are so controlled. There are many women who have accepted the path of a control freak, this to is a form of survival and sometimes the only life a person will ever know.

Rule number one there is no right or wrong, no judgement placed on a victim. How and when they reach for help is as important as the fact they did. Education is golden and to remove the threat of the web, we must first remove each thread of dysfunction one piece at a time.

Thanks Gail. mental health

Gail recommended this website and after reading a good bit of it, I think it is one worth recommending. Though much of it is about helping directly those who are mentally ill. I did find that they offer information for those who deal with mental issues, of either parents or siblings.

It is not about comparing apples to oranges, though of course their are different degrees of mental health. Dad had his mental disability diagnosed from the Veterans and though he did get treatment, his mental health issues became my mothers and became ours. Sadly enough, a whole family is affected by the actions of one.

My sister doesn't have computer access and though I myself have worked through much of the issues that we lived with and have found and outreach she has not. Unfortunately she is reliving it through tapes and newspaper clippings and so for her the information you provided will help her in many ways. That she is not alone and she can surface above the hauntings of the past.

http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=Helpline1&template=/ContentManagement/ContentDisplay.cfm&ContentID=70800

Mental Health and Abuse

Living with mentally ill parents. Mental health issues are unlike any other illness. Unlike a physical illness you can't see it and unlike drugs and alcohol, you have no crutch in which to place blame. To the outside world many mental health issues go unknown. For the children of the mentally ill, It has best been described as a war zone with no obvious sides. Since schizophrenia seems to involve multiple genes, it's certainly possible to inherit only some of them and be affected in a different way. Other conditions such as depression, panic disorder, Asperger's or Autism, or even extraordinarily low self esteem seem to be common among children of parents with schizophrenia. This could be related to genetic inheritance, the general stress of being a primary caregiver to a mentally ill parent, or a combination of factors.

Some children also exhibit symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), the result of, as one child who grew up with schizophrenic parents, "growing up in a war zone with no training, no army behind us, [and] no rules."

It's very important for children of mentally ill parents, whether they are formally diagnosed with a disorder or not, to get support for their own difficult situations.

There is also a fear that the apple don't fall far from the tree and that mental illness is contagious or our genetic might predispose us to this mental health weakness.

Whether we are entering a relationship or we are an individual caught up in mental issues, some tabu's need to be removed. 1. Mental health many times has no warning signs and than again smart people have mental heath issues. . 2. Loyalty to family is not a form of condoning, sometimes it is guilt, fear and love for family. 3. Social skills, Being shut off from so called normal people produces both physically and psychologically issues,what is normal? 4. Life skills, are sometimes as simple as how do we respond to negative situations or simple everyday ones. 5 Mental health issues are not contagious but can predispose us to extreme situations of anger, depression and stress. 6. . Fear: Fear of becoming like the ill parent, or fear of becoming ill themselves this may alter their own lives. 7. Love or to not love a parent, to forgive or to not forgive. Children of mentally abused parents carry an extreme burden that few would undestand unless they themselves grew up in a mental ill family. Secrets that stay hidden in the closet and others that are never so easily hidden all play a nasty game on children. Who is the enemy? who are we at battle with? who do we love? what is normal? Can we forgive? how do we remove the stigma of mental health? Is there a cure? Why me? Can it happen to you? Sometimes we are predisposed genetically, other times it's social factors as well as circumstances and others factors as time and place. My mother chose to take her life, she had 4 children and she didn't know where to turn for help. She jumped form the 16th street bridge , the children live her sin.